He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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