Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize