Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
