also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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