Pants 0. Shit 1.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
