Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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