Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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