1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
