Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize