also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
