forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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