i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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