I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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