I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i already hear my dad disowning me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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