I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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