We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
