She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
