Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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