seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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