You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
