the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
