thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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