Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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