Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
