HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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