Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
