Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
