Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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