i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
This girl is more easily done than said...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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