Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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