Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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