What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
