Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize