I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Pants are for mortals
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
