Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
