porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
