There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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