Too much gin, very little bucket
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
