Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
