At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
