absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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