Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
