Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
