watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize
