you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
why do cheetos always look like penises
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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