she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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