Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize