She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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