i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Everyone says I win the strip club
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
