So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
