I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
