what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
