you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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