benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
