You just made me feel so damn special
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
