Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
