I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
